Thursday, October 27, 2011

Volume Four Coming Soon! (Bonus: Paranormal Activity 3 Review)

If you haven't yet pre-ordered your copy of Volume IV, get it now before it sells out! Advance demand for this issue seems to be pretty high for some reason, whether it's the limited edition cover or the massive Type O Negative article, I'm not sure. But folks are talking about it. I just dropped off the final proof at the printer and if all goes well. It will be in stores Halloween afternoon, and hopefully we can start shipping out internet orders that morning if we get our batch back from the printers soon enough.

I got a letter the other day that asked why we don't list the contents of each issue until after it hits the stands. The reason is that because right up until the day we send the new issue to the printer, the contents are subject to change at any moment. I don't want anyone to accuse us of false advertisement if they specifically purchase a new issue based solely on one or two articles that end up on the chopping block by the time the copy actually hits stores. It's frustrating, so we prefer to keep the contents of each issue under wraps until we're sure of what is going to end up in it.

A good example of this disappointment is the new movie Paranormal Activity 3. Now, I personally despised the first two movies in the series. Ever since The Blair Witch Project, it seems like all you need to make a blockbuster horror film is a couple of cheap camcorders and some viral marketing buzz. I'll take an 80's slasher movie any day of the week over one of these shaky-cam "Oh my God, did you hear that?" faux-documentaries that the kids seem to eat up. But in all fairness, this one looked a lot better than the first two based on the trailers and TV spots I'd seen.

My wife wanted to see it, so being the good husband I am, I indulged her wish. I'm not going to reveal any spoilers, but I think potential viewers should note that absolutely none of the cool scenes that were shown in the trailer actually occur in the film. And no, I'm not exaggerating. Do a google search and you'll find that 60% of the trailer is comprised of footage that isn't actually in the film. Talk about false advertisement!

It's not unheard of for a major film to feature a minor scene or two in a pre-release trailer that ends up cut or altered in the final edit. But even after Paranormal Activity 3 was released, Paramount was issuing new trailers and TV spots featuring even more new footage that wasn't actually in the movie. This is a blatant deception when you think about it. How would you feel if we ran advertisements for STE Volume Four claiming that it featured interviews with President Obama and nude pics of Lady Gaga, only to find that when you receive your copy, there's nothing of the sort inside. You'd feel ripped off and want your money back, right?

That's how I felt leaving the theater after watching Paranormal Activity 3. I had just watched an 80 minute snoozefest. NOTHING happened in the movie until the last two anti-climactic moments. I was surprised by the short running time; watching people walk around and talking for the entire movie made it seem like it was twice as long as it actually was. And worst of all, the scenes that I was waiting to see never materialized. This was the first time I wanted to be refunded for a movie ticket since I sat through Deep Rising thirteen years ago. And while Deep Rising was a terrible, terrible film, at least it was mildly entertaining and all of the scenes featured in the trailer actually made it into the final cut. (You know the only time I ever received a refund on a movie ticket? Back in 2003, I walked out of House of the Dead after about ten minutes and was so pissed off that the manager actually handed me six bucks and a free movie pass).

So dear readers, just know that we would never intentionally bait and switch you like Paramount did with Paranormal Activity 3. We actually respect you and want your return business.

In other Ephemeris news, columnist Bill Johnson is being awarded a "Lifetime Achievement Award" in the area of Sports Broadcasting by one of our local (Fayetteville NC) radio stations. Giving the commencement speech will be yours truly, followed by a slideshow of pics from the 50's through the 90's. The ceremony will be held November 1st, and we'll be happy to pass along any congrats and accolades you wish to send to Mr. Johnson.

That's all for now. Till next time!

1 comment:

  1. most horror movies now a days will place false scenes in their movie so it wont ruin the surprises. Ever go, "oh yeah, this is the scene in the trailer I know whats going to happen next.". Most likely the scenes in the trailer will be extended scenes in the dvd release.

    Also if you didn't like the first two movies, you shouldn't of seen the third.